- Terms and Conditions (Because Apparently, We Need These)
Welcome to Backyard Soap Shop's corner of the internet! Before you dive into our lovingly handcrafted soaps and scrubs, here’s some important stuff to know. Yeah, it’s boring, but the lawyers (who don’t work for me because I can’t afford one) say this is important:
1. Product Use and Safety
Our products are crafted with carefully chosen ingredients, designed to be a step above the usual store-bought stuff that’s trying to pass as soap. That said, we’re not responsible if you misuse them. For example, please don’t eat the bath bombs (even if they smell like cake). If you have allergies, read the ingredients list or consult your local soap wizard.
2. Shipping and Returns
We aim to ship your goodies within 3-5 business days, but sometimes life happens (and by life, I mean I forgot to order more shipping labels). If you’re not happy with your purchase, let me know within 14 days. Just don’t send back half-used soap—it’s weird.
3. Liability Waiver
Our soaps are designed to clean you, not solve all your life problems. We are not liable for any allergic reactions, broken pipes (soap does NOT go in the toilet), or existential crises caused by our products. Use them responsibly and at your own risk.
4. Privacy Policy
We respect your privacy like we respect a good, long shower. Your info stays with us—no selling, no trading, no shady stuff. We only use it to ship your orders and occasionally send emails (when I remember to write them).
5. Copyright
All photos, designs, and witty taglines are mine. Please don’t steal them—it’s rude, and I’ll get angry. If you want to share something, just ask!
6. Disclaimer
These products are made by a human (me). Expect slight variations in color, scent, or size. That’s called “handcrafted charm.” If you want perfection, you're in the wrong place.
---
FAQ (aka Frequently Asked Complaints)
Do your products cure anything?
Nope. My soap won't cure acne, eczema, or your existential dread. It's soap, not sorcery.
What if I have an issue?
Send me a message, and I’ll do my best to make it right. Just remember: I’m a one-person show with questionable organization skills, so give me a minute.